I remember this day like it was yesterday. I began to panic and was unable to calm down. I could not fathom placing my life in the hands of another. How could I trust this man? He just met me. He did not know anything about me.
I ran to the bathroom to get away from it all for a minute. I looked in the mirror and did not recognize the person staring back at me. I saw a sick, lost, weak individual. I saw what the doctor saw and I knew just as much about this person as the doctor knew. Who had I become? How did I get here?
REWIND
It began when I thought I needed to control my life because chaos existed all around. It began when I searched for love through worldly things. It began when I pleased man and sought approval from all I met. It began when I felt I needed people to need me. It began when I lived by my fears - rejection, loneliness, failure. It began when I built my life around Anorexia.
Do you see a common theme in each of these statements? The word I appears in each of them, along with my and people. WOW, was I way off course. No wonder I lost myself. I lived a life searching for love and comfort in all the wrong places. My body and spirit lacked nourishment.
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:8-10)
FAST FORWARD
I now feel peace in knowing God is at my side. I know He created me with such thought and for a purpose, to serve Him. We each are His handiwork! Just as we carry out a project or task until completion, God carries out His plan for us and never leaves us (see Philippians 1:6). As we obey and serve Him, He blesses. He saved us through grace. A gift from Him. Will you accept it?
I trust God. He knows my every thought before I speak it. He knows my heart. He knows my path and leads me through every day. Just as I laid my life in the hands of the doctor in Nashville, I lay my every day in His Hands. He has my best interest in mind. He feeds me daily with His Truths so I may never starve spiritually! He found me and I found Him. I now know who I am in Christ.
God thank you for this day. Thank You for keeping me in Your Hands, though I rejected You. Thank You for the forgiveness given for I once replaced You with things in this world. I am here to serve only You. I love You.
Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
Sheree Craig
No comments:
Post a Comment