Open Book

Thank you for taking this seven day journey back in time with me.  It is never easy to look back and even harder to share the faults and failures consuming the past.  Holding tightly to a facade of having it all together is the daily plan, right?  Moving back to Indiana when numbers labeled my body ‘healthy’ created a prime opportunity to play out that façade.  No one had to know ANY of the past.  Those seeing the early years of my eating disorder had long forgotten or not even noticed.  The ugliest portion of the disease occurred nearly 200 miles away.  My eating disorder hid perfectly until the tailspin dropped numbers to unhealthy status AGAIN.  But, I only had to tell a handful of people to get those numbers back up, right?  My past should remain my past and a closed book for only those who were present at the time to know, right?

Oh, how the enemy would love for me to close the book, smile like I have life all figured out and throw Scripture out daily to cover any issue to appear faultless.  The enemy would cling to this façade and wait for a trigger to then slide his foot in the door to my heart.  The closed book would hold many titles: shame, guilt, ugly, unworthy, useless, failure, mistake, etc.  Once the enemy moved in on a triggering situation, one by one these titles would begin defining me AGAIN!

My past is my past.  No one else can write a story exactly like it.  The further into recovery I travel, the stronger my voice becomes to share in hopes to help.  The closer my walk moves in line with His Will, the clearer my vision becomes to bring understanding.  It amazes me the people God brings into this journey and how one piece of my story helps them see His presence. 

Joyce Meyer once said (paraphrase); ‘the enemy becomes upset when we heal from bondage and follow Christ; but, the enemy despises the moment we take our recovery and spread it out to others.’ 

Yes, healing hurts and walking close with God is the ultimate goal in each of our lives.  But, taking our personal journey and reaching out to help another through the same fulfills our purpose in this life.  Every day, keeping our history book wide open allows Him to turn to the page needed for sharing to another.  It is in that moment the other sees His light shine through you.  

“who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.   For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”  (2 Corinthians 1:4-5)

I pray this week helped readers to go and help others.  I pray this week inspired readers to go and incorporate their past into the present to reach others.  I pray this week brought clarity, understanding, encouragement and hope. 

Don’t hesitate to reach out to the hurting.  You reach out and God will step in to do mighty things through you.  Yes – YOU!  He needs your help in this broken world.  Let us work together in this world, be real with one another and just spread the love.  Next time you see that struggling teen (you know, the one everyone labels as ‘bad’, ‘disobedient’, ‘going nowhere in life’), look beyond the behaviors to understand why such rebellion.  Next time you hear of an individual engaging in self-harm, hold your hand out in comfort to listen and understand the emotion behind this numbing behavior.  Next time you see a sullen face, unhealthy lifestyle, chaos overtaking a soul, tear stained face or even a constant ‘fake’ smile; don’t judge.  The story behind these responses needs addressed.  Anything held tightly in silence provides ammunition for the enemy to take over.

Love to all my readers and please continue to read as I share the lessons learned in this life.

And as always my dear friends,

Keep praying harder than the devil can work. 

Finally, the Missing Piece

I began the journey on my own.  I sought the only help I knew – medical.  The nurses and doctor did the best they could to help with physical health.  It just wasn’t working.  ED was just too big.  The burdens carried weighed in at a greater number than the one seen on the scale.  I sat in discouragement, pain, sadness and defeat.

I cannot remember how I discovered the place where healing began; maybe the newspaper or local radio station.  A support group existed for those struggling with eating disorders.  Nothing like this existed in an outpatient setting within a 45 mile radius except this one.  I called and signed up for the next session.  The group met in a church – a place my feet had not touched in quite some time.  I gained hope for recovery again.  I sat quiet, listening to the leader follow along through a study.  The study provided Scripture to back up every reason for healing. 

The leader suggested writing down any Scripture discovered along the journey in an index bound booklet and read through them daily.  This began a process that now includes about six filled booklets.  A transformation began each time a Scripture replaced and ED thought.  Brick by brick, the walls surrounding my heart began to crumble.  I shared more as the weeks passed and came to know many Christian women.  The original group of ladies will forever hold a place in my heart. 

One week, my husband and I attended a Baptism at the church where group met.  That day marked a pivotal moment for recovery.  We decided to come back the next week and then the next and even the following week to church.  With each week, freedom from such bondage as an eating disorder became a possibility.  I think I found that something missing from this whole recovery thing.

My husband and I took Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  The burdens lifted as God scooped me up to carry me away from the enemy.  I would love to say this day marked the end of every ED thought, healed every wound, crushed every wall built around my heart and brought complete comfort in life.  It did not.  What this moment provided; Hope, Love, Peace, Comfort and Freedom.  Link by link, God broke the chains holding me in bondage.  ED quickly lost power and no longer controlled my actions.  I now began the journey of recovery, healing from the inside out.  Since losing power, ed was not a choice to numb out.

To explain what I have learned on this journey would take pages upon pages (whole reason I now blog).  I will take some time and just bullet point the major epiphanies encountered.

·         I am worthy of love and touch

·         Emotions provide healing and strengthening

·         This world is broken and if our hope is placed IN this world, we will not make it through any storm faced

·         I do have purpose in this life

·         I am not a mistake

·         Perfection can never be obtained here on Earth

·         Grace need be given to others so that I may receive the same

·         Vulnerability does not equate weakness

·         It is through my weakness that God uses me the most

·         Laying down each burden at the foot of the cross builds faith as God always does His part

·         Recovery does not happen overnight – it is a journey and lasts a lifetime

·         One step at a time, Day by day strength comes and ed weakens

·         I must keep alert to the enemies schemes, keeping watch for triggers which could send me running backward or veering off the path into the wilderness without proper equipment

·         God provides protective armor with which to boldly wear daily to defeat the enemy

·         Some days I feel defeated; but thankfully God’s mercies are new each and every morning

·         “I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be; I am okay and on my way.” ~Joyce Meyer

Oh, and definitely . . .

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.      

ED Had to go NOW

I kept the myriad of recovered (which you will learn in a later post recovery last a lifetime but holds various levels) continuing each day.  I even convinced myself recovery had been reached.  All the while ED held on tightly, controlling thoughts, actions and emotions.  Numbers remained within normal limits with doctors applauding such a ‘healthy’ body.  Others struggling with weight, yo-yo diets, cravings and such made many comments that I wouldn't know how they feel because I was so thin – but ‘healthy’.  Those knowing the journey loved the new ‘healthy’ look.  Something was missing from this whole recovery thing.

Numbers lie, images cover up, mirrors provide false advertisement and blinders help us avoid yucky hardships.  Since I needed to remain at a certain number, eat a specific plan and maintain to remain in society I still obsessed about every bite taken.  Foods remained on a ‘to avoid’ list.  Calories needed earned through exercise.  That little tag sewn neatly on clothes determined success.  A three digit number on a stupid scale measured worth.  And then there was the mirror. . .why oh why was this invented?  It held power over emotions and controlled the day.  I looked in it often in hopes the person staring back would increase in beauty or skill.  Never worked.  Something was missing from this whole recovery thing.

Good news came in form of a letter one day!  My long lost love appeared to be single.  Funny story behind all that, which could write a whole book; but, I sent a letter the same time to reach out to him.  We met up and fell in love all over.  Cool part, a handsome little man came along as well.  I got a 2-for-1 deal out of it and instantly became mom.  And all moms know failure occurs daily.  I wanted this little man to love me as much as I loved him and it just started rough.  It took time for him to get comfortable with me.  So, all the while I clung to ED for comfort and peace in the hard times.  It never quite helped.  Something was missing from this whole recovery thing.

Marriage came and our family decided it was time to grow.  Failure appeared for twelve months straight.  It was my entire fault and the stupid ED that overtook my health.  We began fertility treatments which wreak havoc on one’s body and emotions.  Monthly, I drove about an hour to hear disappointing news.  With each visit, I turned the failure inward feeding ED.  After about one year, we had one last try at this for fertility treatments quickly drain the bank!  One month later a $4.00 stick changed our lives.  It said PREGNANT!  And, sure enough, the next visit showed a little peanut beating fast on the screen.  Pregnancy overrode any negative emotions and granted the freedom to eat.  I did well, but still exercised because I did not want to put on too much ‘baby weight’ (stupid ED). 

After the birth of our daughter, I tailspinned.  ED came back with a vengeance and reminded me that the weight gained during pregnancy MUST COME OFF.  In reality, I would have remained a ‘healthy’ number had the weight remained.  So, I did everything to get it off.  I tried breastfeeding which only lasted about five months before I ran out.  Failure as a mom – I could not even feed my own child.  Chaos occurred daily now with two kids to manage.  Failure as a person – I could not control my schedule and succeed in daily activities.  My husband worked diligently to provide financially while I stayed home due to our daughter needing extra care in the beginning.  My only job was to keep the house functioning, kids healthy and husband happy.  The more I felt like a failure, the more I turned to ED to find control, success and worth.  That something that was missing from this whole recovery thing became more evident as I found myself smack dab in a pit AGAIN!

One day, while holding my daughter, I hit rock bottom.  Her precious face sent a message straight to the heart past all the lies ED used to surround and hide emotions.  The message spoke loud and clear to the situation – “You have two kids looking to you as an example; you have a daughter needing a healthy role model!”  Depriving my body of nutrients, running from emotions, berating myself and flying off the handle at every situation was not an example these children needed.  I did not want my daughter to mimic or follow my footsteps.  ED needed to go NOW!  When my husband came home that evening I told him I wanted help: true help this time, not temporary.  He knew I was sick again, but did not know how to approach the matter (the whole reason I want to share my story). 

I had a long road ahead to get truly healthy.  It seemed impossible and scary.  How could I accomplish TRUE healing this time?  Something was missing from this whole recovery thing. 

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.  

Could This be the End?

Into college I entered.  Numb to the world, I simply went through the motions.  Maybe if I could reach perfection, my family could come back together and live in harmony.  Or, if I reached a deathly level of illness maybe my parents would be forced to take care of me TOGETHER.  Then, their love could be rekindled and all is well.  See how powerful and deadly the bondage of an eating disorder becomes.  It rationalizes every action done to harm, twists every thought and makes it all sound okay. 

I continued to deprive my body of proper nutrition while exercising in excess.  Exercise played a key role in numbing out.  I ran in hopes to outrun the storm raging around me.  It never worked.  I ended each workout in physical pain and exhausted.  But, the physical pain kept my focus rather than the emotional pains and exhaustion allowed sleep to keep my mind quiet. 

Reality struck when arriving home one day to a real estate sign staked by the driveway.  This meant the end.  No matter how hard I tried, I could not bring my family back together again.  Failure fed my eating disorder.  At this point, I could not stop it even if I tried.  I had traveled too far down the road clinging tightly to ED that I could not let go and continued life with ED.

Remember I explained our Savior was there?  Well, I talked to Him through empty prayers.  In that, I mean no faith backed the words spoken nightly.  I prayed every night for God to take me out of this world and into His arms in Heaven.  I explained that I could not handle this anymore.  It was just too much.  I asked for this nightmare to be over.  I asked for my family to reunite.  I asked for healing.  But never believed because the moment I tried, ED convinced me I did not deserve any pleasure or happiness.  I remained in bondage to an eating disorder and could not escape.

Two years pass by and I ran smack dab into the pink elephant sitting comfortably in our living room.  I could not get up.  I realized this was bigger than me and bigger than I ever planned.  I just wanted to cope with tough situations, get some attention in hopes to receive help, make others happy and be ‘normal’.  None of which was accomplished by this stupid ED.  I realized my eating disorder lied, failed me and destroyed me.

Thankfully, I had a trusted and loving counselor by this point holding her hand out to pick me up.  She sent us to Tennessee to meet a doctor specializing in eating disorders.  Until the day came for the visit, I never spent one moment alone.  I either went to work with mom or dad came over to keep an eye on me.  The attention I always wanted finally came, right?  I was too weak to even enjoy or appreciate the attention.  I slept mostly and continued to hide behind a smile.  I thought I would go to the visit, pacify everyone and come home to continue “healed”. 

Boy was I wrong.  The day came and we traveled the two hours to Vanderbilt.  Mom and dad both came to be of support.  The nurse obtained vital signs upon arriving (which were not within normal limits).  Then, HE came in. . .the one who faced our pink elephant directly in the face and explained the severity behind the matter.  The only piece of the conversation I remember was the ultimatum given; admittance to the hospital or keep knocking at death’s door.  Being of age, the decision ultimately rested on my shoulders.  The doctor left to give time for processing.  I ran to the bathroom, looked in the mirror at the tear stained image I did not recognize.  What happened to me?  Why?  How can this situation ever get better?  When will someone see my pain? 

This is where people pleasing actually came in handy.  To please everyone, I agreed to being admitted.  I agreed to a feeding tube.  I agreed to a meal plan.  I agreed to spend my days in my room with a view looking out at the other side of the hospital.  I agreed to please; yet, inwardly, I did not agree.  I felt they just wanted to put weight on me and never really help me feel better.  They were all out to get me, right? I did not trust the ones there to help me and that saw my pain.

After a couple months, I was released to a facility in Wisconsin where I continued people pleasing and following all the rules to get released.  My body begin feeling better physically, but remained an emotional wreck.  Something was missing from this whole recovery thing.  I spent a few months in the facility, met some cool girls and went on my way.  I still kept ED hidden to be there when I needed it.  It served me well, I could not let go that easily.  On the outside, based on numbers and BMI, I appeared healed; such false advertisement! 

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.                                         

In the Midst of the Storm

I wish I could say junior year went out like a lamb; but, quite the opposite.  With ruined self-esteem, I believed any remark heard from surrounding individuals.  The loudest voice came from my eating disorder.  Imperfection occurred daily; therefore, I worked harder to be perfect at this so called eating disorder.  I became my eating disorder.  I no longer carried the name Sheree, for that girl was buried deep unable to surface. 

I became really good at covering up the eating disorder and pleasing it daily.  Should a particular emotion be too much, I would simply turn to the world, reaching for any numbing tool to pass the moment.  It took a while to find a boyfriend after breaking off the other relationship in Indiana.  But, this one sly guy caught my eye and his rebellious nature intrigued me.  I wanted to be with him and have someone come alongside to experience this world.  Finally, he agreed to date.  This began a road full of dangerous curves and crater size potholes.  Yet, I did not care because I had someone who paid attention to me and showed care.

I hung on tightly and did whatever he wanted to make him happy.  This ‘walk all over me’ attitude opened up an abusive side to this guy.  He turned obsessive and verbally abusive.  My thoughts rationalized the situation and believed it to be deserved.  I fell into very unhealthy patterns due to this situation being too much for my eating disorder to bury.  Other means of numbing had to take place. 

Meanwhile, at home, life continued to be messy.  One morning I came home (after staying out all night) and dad was leaving.  Something happened.  What?  I do not know.  All I knew is that I did not come home and my life was in shambles.  I was too much to handle; therefore, my lovely eating disorder convinced me that his leaving was my fault.  Anger, confusion, sadness, frustration and rejection consumed my body.  Whoa, whoa, whoa. . .this is TOO much and I will not stand for all this emotion. 

Where did I turn?  An abusive relationship, my eating disorder and unhealthy tools found in the world to numb out.  Whatever the situation required to NOT think about such things, I did it.  Somehow, I made it through my senior year.  I did not play basketball or associate with very many people.  I had a best friend (ED) and this guy; therefore, nothing else mattered, right?  I just kept smiling, acting as though my dad had not left and all is well at my house.  I convinced myself I was ‘normal’ and life was just peachy. 

I never took the time to process any emotion.  I kept my mind busy with chores, exercise, counting calories and making others happy.  Little did I realize the two people I loved so dearly were hurting tremendously.  Instead of us coming together to get through a divided family, we all went to our corners alone to hurt.  Sure, we communicated with one another; but only to smile over the pain. 

It came to a point in the story where life placed too much weight on my shoulders.  My frail frame was not enough for others to realize the turmoil taking place inside.  I must show them how bad I hurt; talking things out to process emotion was out of the question.  One day, after school, I chose to make a move I will NEVER forget.  I was going to show them how messed up I really felt. . .

My boyfriend and mother found me lying in bed and not fully responsive.  I am not sure what outcome I really desired from all this, but nothing changed after that night.  This episode was swept under the rug with only a handful of people knowing it occurred.  There was just too much hurt going on and no one knew how to handle any of it.  We were lost. 

Looking back, I know that my parents did the best they knew how at the moment.  They had never faced such a storm either and I am sure were scared to talk about the pink elephant.  They love me and had no idea how to help.  Watching someone hurt so badly can leave you feeling helpless.  Diverting attention, taking them out to get their mind off the situation or ignoring the damaging effects is what we do.  I am not sure if I have the answer on how to approach a hurting individual without damaging a relationship but. . .

This I do know: a hug can heal a wound, a compliment can change a negative thought, a fulfilled promise can plant a seed and a loving hand can help any situation.  We were hurting people in need of a Savior.  He was there; we just would not let Him in. 

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.                                     

The Story Continues

In comes junior year like a lion.  Troubles pile on top of an already messy situation.  Mom and I moved four hours away to join dad and make it work.  Beginning a new school brought struggles and hardships.  The school was very small; yet full of new faces I needed to impress.  The one thing I had going for me was that multiple cousins attended the same school and could bring friends my way. 

The great relationship going back in Indiana broke due to distance.  A little piece of my heart remained in Indiana; therefore, I refused to find contentment in Kentucky.  That famous smile that disguised all pain came with me and remained throughout.  Each day I arrived at school, went through the motions and sought approval from all I met.  Now, I not only had my eating disorder to please, but also every other person encountered in life. 

I did make the basketball team (mainly due to such a small turnout for the team).  My eating disorder loved the increase in exercise and continued deprivation of foods.  Along the way, another vice entered the scene – smoking cigarettes.  This was a great additive to an already unhealthy situation (typed with complete sarcasm).  Smoking did help with avoiding food.  It pacified my desires to eat and provided a social group to join. 

Avoiding food at this point was pretty easy.  Not many kids ate lunch anyway (have you seen school lunches).  By the time I arrived home from school, with both parents working, I could grab a few crackers and be on my way.  Supper did not really occur because family meals went to the wayside with just one kid left in the house.  Things just did not seem ‘family like’ anymore. 

Toward the end of junior year, I rarely spent time at home.  On the weekends, I was out until wee hours of the morning if I even came home.  Friends pay no attention to the little amount eaten.  And I always ‘ate before I met up with my friends’.  I followed the crowd and kept trying to survive.

Sometimes you watch an individual continue to choose wrongly, destroy their life and they fail to see the damage.  You may not know how to help.  You may want to turn your head and avoid the painful situation all together.  You may love the person so much that you work hard to deny the destruction taking place.  So, you watch from afar, bury it and avoid it.  It becomes the pink elephant in the living room that no one wants to discuss.

I believe others saw the frail frame I struggled to carry around; yet, did not know how to approach that conversation.  I know for a fact people back home noticed.  I received comments, letters and words of concern numerous times.  Sadly, these only fed my eating disorder.  I loved the attention and hoped that one of these days, someone could come in and erase all the pain inside so I could eat again.  See, I had no idea how to manage my emotions, deal with pain or handle sorrow.  My eating disorder knew.  Others only saw sickness, not pain.  They assumed I just wanted to look like the girls in the magazines.  They assumed this was the reason for such extreme measures.  This was not the case at all. 

It was to feel good about something.  See, athletes gauge success on points scored in a game.  My eating disorder gauged success on calories avoided within a day.  Businesses pride on numbers increasing.  My eating disorder felt pride as the number on the scale decreased (which by this point, I checked that number countless times every day).  I was finally good at something and that something helped avoid feeling.  I hated to feel any emotion.  I had a way to numb as the storm raged around me.  All was well. . .or so my eating disorder thought.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.                                 

How It All Began

I can recall the day my eating disorder tiptoed into my life.  A crushed, lowly spirit met a powerful, strong force which planted me in the middle of a tornado.  Beginning with the moment my eyes scanned the list only to see every other girl’s name dedicated to a position on the basketball team.  No matter how long I stared, Sheree did not appear.  Numb to the idea that I would not be a part of a team I placed all my worth in, I gathered my things and plopped in the seat of my sister’s car.  She worked diligently to console and divert attention from the matter at hand.  To numb from feeling worthless, rejected and a complete failure, I buried that one deep.  My eating disorder held tightly to that emotion.

Moving right along to softball season; I made the team.  But, more insult came when I sat the bench 98% of the time.  To avoid feeling worthless, rejected and a complete failure, I buried that one deep.  I smiled instead of cried.  My eating disorder held tightly to that emotion.

Searching for worth, meaning, acceptance and success; I turned to people.  Well, I did not have the looks, clothing, body frame or conversations to fit in or be cool.  I was not the one who could turn heads when walking past a group of guys (such an accomplishment when a young teen).  I was the tomboy hanging with the guys who talked freely about those pretty, stylish females roaming the halls.  Outwardly I just smiled, inwardly I felt worthless, rejected and a complete failure yet again.  My eating disorder held tightly to that emotion.

Moving forward; a move occurred for my parents and me.  The destination landed us four hours from home just when I had a great relationship going with a guy.  Refusing to be happy in the new place; mom and I moved back to finish sophomore year.  The relationship remained with the guy, yet I still felt incomplete.  I felt extremely guilty for distancing my parents (my dad had to stay for work).  Life consisted of lots of traveling for both parents and outwardly we all just smiled.  Inwardly we were all falling apart.  I took blame for all the turmoil because I could not take life as it played out.  Hurt, struggles, sadness and failure to receive approval was just too much for this teen.  No one understood the amount of pain sitting in the pit of my spirit.  Worthless, rejected and a complete failure; I heard a small voice describe a way to gain some control in this funnel cloud surrounding my life.

Yep; my eating disorder held all the ammunition to kill any part of spirit left.  And that it did.  I learned control through deprivation of food.  I learned comfort through repetition of daily activities.  I learned I was good at something.  Worth appeared as guys turned heads slightly in the beginning as my boyish figure became feminine.  The guy I dated helped me shop for fitted, stylish clothes.  Acceptance appeared each time I pleased my eating disorder through deprivation, exercise and numbing out to all difficulties in life.  Success appeared as I pitched a pair of pants to buy a smaller size or when entering a room I was the smallest of all females.  My eating disorder held on tightly and became a best friend.

So, in a nutshell, this is how it began.  We each have struggles, sufferings, sorrows and storms stirring in our lives.  Without turning on radar and walking around with crossed arms, we will never reach the hurting.  Hurting people typically do not search for help.  It is better to numb than to feel.  Numbing destroys our bodies.  Our bodies were created to feel emotion, work through it and learn from every moment.  We were created to help one another; not judge, criticize or turn our heads from dark situations. 

Let us join together in opening a hand to the hurting, taking time to listen and keep the radar on for seriousness of situations.  Catching an individual early on in hurt will keep the enemy’s grip loose.  The enemy will work diligently to destroy spirits and in my case it occurred through an eating disorder.  Let’s stop him in his tracks.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.                              

You Know, THAT Moment. . .

The day begins as usual: that annoying sound persists until feet hit the floor; the mind remains dormant until a fabulous invention called coffee enters your system and the process begins to prepare for the day ahead.  With everybody ready to go, you hit the door running. 

Once arriving at the destination, work begins.  The morning flies by consumed with phone calls, errands, paperwork, emails, etc.  Time arrives for a break.  Back to work after enjoying a meal and some quiet time (yeah right, what is that?).  THEN, it happens. . .

You know, the moment that transformed the day into a terrible nightmare; a tragic, horrifying, very bad, no good moment that leaves an indelible mark in your thoughts.  It changes the anatomical structure of your body by transplanting the heart into the pit of the stomach.  All thoughts dwell on that moment.  It could be a mistake made, phone call received, health concern exacerbated or another event marking tragedy in your story. 

The moment already occurred and no eraser exists big enough to clear the page of this written story.  The more our thoughts dwell on the moment, the worse it seems and the more anxiety develops.  Anxiety begins driving the rest of our day; leading to possibly more mistakes, diminished attitudes, shame, guilt and an open door for the enemy to come and steal any positive left to the day.

The further removed from that moment, the clearer life appears.  We stand at the fork in the road and have an important decision; step right – hold God’s hand to heal from such a moment, or step left – allow the enemy to finish the story. 

Going right allows God to step in, hold our hand and begin the process of healing.  He will take captive every thought to then replace with Truth.  He holds us accountable for one simple task in the mist of it all; to turn our worry into worship.  Replace each negative emotion/word related to the moment with song.  Sing praises to the One who will see us through.  Dwelling on the mistake, tragedy or event only deepens the wound.  Healing occurs when proper ointment is applied to the wound.  He holds the Truth to heal any and every wound.

Going left allows the enemy to set up shop and begin playing evil games.  The enemy will captivate every thought to build a wall of negativity which crushes the spirit.  In the mist of the construction, our worry adds bricks to the mortar.  Each negative emotion/word begins decorating the wall with graffiti.  We then read this over and over until our thoughts truly believe each written comment.  The labels placed on us now guide and into a pit we fall.  The moment creates an open wound with no healing in sight.  The enemy holds ammunition to destroy.

Whatever the situation you may currently experience, God waits patiently with open arms.  Take a moment, send up a word of surrender and lay it down at the foot of the cross.  He will take you and keep you moving in the right direction.  The further removed from the situation, the less the memory can play a part in your story.  We will all make mistakes.  We will all wish that phone call never rang.  We will all experience health concerns, rather terminal, momentary or lifelong.  We will all face an event bringing tragedy into our story.  But, my dear friends, God holds just the perfect tools to take us through.  The situation will be too much for us to face ALONE.  Only through Him will our mistakes transform into knowledge, tragedies into strength, illnesses into deeper faith and experiences into closer relationships with our Father.

Which way will you choose?

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.                      

He Knows

As a young child, I watched my mother do crazy things to save a buck, dress in unapproved styles and perform unheard of beauty regimens.  I remember thinking that I will never do those when I am a mom – no offense mother!

We kids mocked her often.  My mother lived frugal.  She stayed home to care for us to avoid daycare costs.  She shopped once a week for needs not wants.  She reused grocery bags as trashcan liners.  On road trips, she planned by bringing blankets in case of breaking down on the side of the road.  She brought food to snack on, even on a trip lasting less than an hour.  Her purse weighed twenty pounds due to all the items shoved in there ‘just in case’. 

She rarely bought new clothes of her own due to spending budgeting money on our clothes.  Even then, she shopped thrifty, making every dollar stretch.  I never understood why I could not buy a toy every time our feet entered a store.  Isn’t that the whole reason for ‘shopping’?  I never understood why I shared a room with my sister.  I never understood the reasons given when I wanted to go and do what every other child in my class was doing.  I never understood my mom. . .

Until now. 

Come to find out, she is the most brilliant woman I know.  I now wear her shoes and wear them proudly.  I stayed home as long as possible to avoid daycares and spend time with my little ones.  This created a frugal lifestyle due to living on one income.  My husband and I plan out groceries based on nightly meals and work diligently to purchase nothing more than items appearing on the list.  Just the other day, I was caught reusing grocery bags as trashcan liners to avoid purchasing trash bags. 

I keep blankets in the vehicle ‘just in case’ along with gloves.  When leaving the house, drinks and snacks go with us regardless of distance traveled.  My purse is not the traditional, stylish one most carry.  My purse is an over-the-shoulder satchel holding miniature first aid kit, card games, and the essentials and still leaving room to cram items in when the kids say, “Mom, can you hold this?” 

The only new clothes purchased come as a gift from others.  We shop thrifty and live just fine.  Our clothes may not be magazine approved, but they are clean and match.  What more could you ask?  I constantly say no in stores because my kids hold the same mindset as I did when growing up: Entering a store means purchasing a ‘want’ item.  I have also been guilty of using the line, “Am I ______ parent?”  This indicates a child is doing something I will not allow for mine.  They will never understand. . .

Until they have kids.

As Christians, we often fail to understand the actions of our Father.  Discipline never sits well in our minds.  We may wonder why situations arise in life.  We may question the necessity of hardships.  We don’t understand this broken world.  We don’t understand why flesh comfort cannot be reached on Earth.  Just give us what we want when we want it and emotions will be pleasant, right?  Why must we share our hard earned money/items with others?  Why tithe money WE made by working countless hours?  We will never understand. . .

Until we meet our Father.

We must trust Him.  He knows what He is doing.  Come to find out, He is Wisdom.  He works diligently each day to carry out the plan and purpose created for us.  Without our part being done, He cannot work His part to completion.  With every situation, He provides the tools needed (He knows the ‘just in case’).   When leaving our home, we must carry His Word, Promise and Presence with us no matter the distance traveled.  Living without His guidance leaves us stranded without survival equipment.  Any burden encountered, simply ask Him, “God, can you hold this?”  He has plenty of room in His arms.  Trust Him.  He knows what He is doing.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.                

A Magic Number

It just takes ONE. . .

One smile can begin an everlasting friendship and defeat negative attitudes in the receiver.  All of us can provide this to those met on a daily basis.  It is then we will fulfill the plan created to love one another, showing kindness to all.  It all starts with One smile.

One hug you give can heal a broken heart.  A hug shows someone cares enough to embrace a hurting soul and provide time needed for the individual to be heard.  Providing care through physical touch furthers our walk and fulfills the plans created for us to comfort those in need.  It all starts with One hug.

One compliment you provide to an individual struggling to find purpose.  Each compliment received will combat the lies swarming inside.  Defeating lies opens eyes to purpose, allowing individuals to fulfill the plans laid ahead for their lives.  It all starts with One compliment.   

One hand to pick up a friend we find in need.  We can be the one to help them see the light in the darkest of moments.  It takes a willing, open hand to fulfill the plans created to use us as vessels in this broken world.  It all starts with One hand.   

One kiss to seal a marriage and embark on an adventure only survived holding the hand of our spouse.  Two individuals become one following that kiss.  It takes working one day at a time to reach the depth of love planned for the marriage.  It takes both individuals willing to face whatever storm may come to fulfill the plans created for the marriage.  It all starts with One kiss.

One step in the right direction to begin the journey set for your life.  Indescribable moments consume each day.  Keep taking one foot in front of the other even in the toughest of times.  It is then we will fulfill the plans created for our life.  It all starts with One step.

It just takes ONE day at a time. . .

His mercies are new each and every morning.  He never runs empty on mercy for those following Him.  In order to follow God, we must first accept the ONE gift given through His ONE Son Jesus.  Jesus took the most crucial punishment so that you and I may live.  It all started with One man.

One man sent to save the world came in the form of a small baby.  He lived just as you and I in this broken world.  He kept His eyes focused on God’s Will, showing kindness, embracing the hurt, providing time to all, defeating lies with Truth, shining light onto the darkest of moments, working one day at a time to display the depth of His Father’s love and stepping one foot at a time in the right direction.  He knew the outcome, yet did not run from such a crucial ending; for, He knew His Father kept an open seat for Him in Heaven. 

God holds a place for you in Heaven as well.  But, it takes One step toward the cross.  It takes One confession of faith to become His follower.  It takes One day at a time to fulfill the plan and purpose laid for your life.  Will you follow our One True Savior today?  The past does not matter.  All sin has been washed clean through the obedience of One man.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.        

An Invite Worth Accepting

It finally arrived!  The envelope desired by most.  One little piece of paper just made your day.   All have the opportunity to receive such an envelope, but only a select few accept it. . .only the ones who really know the host.  You knew it would come, but just did not know the day!  An RSVP requires a call to claim a spot an acknowledge receiving the invitation.

The piece of paper received provides details to the biggest party of the year.  A loving, caring and well-liked classmate decided to host a party on their 20 acre property including a pool (all amenities imaginable), woods to ride an ATV, sand volleyball, basketball and catering by the best restaurant in town.  A special room in the home is prepared for all to crash at the end of the day.  You just cannot wait until this day comes!

Oh, you almost forgot about purchasing a gift for the party.  The party exists to celebrate the classmate’s birthday.  They turn sixteen.  Pressure comes with gift buying.  It must show thought and meaning.  It must be one that suits them, used to benefit their life and coincide with their desires/interests.  You got this!  You head out to a local shopping center and purchase just the perfect gift.  You wrap it beautifully and feel proud to hand it over at the party.

The day arrives.  Every moment exceeds your imagination.  Many of your friends arrived and some you have seen in passing at school.  Come to find out, they observed the joy you displayed because of the invite and wanted to be included.  They went to the host and asked to join in on the party.  They were accepted without hesitation.  You wish the day could continue forever.  Oh, and the room prepared was immaculate, lacking nothing.

Sounds awesome, right?  I want an invite to that party.  All I need is to bring a gift and my day fills with joy beyond imagination.  I could do that.

What if I told you such a day exists for each and every single one of us?  An invitation waits for all who choose to accept it.  An RSVP appears on the invitation.  The Host accepts without hesitation and provides a gift for FREE!  The Host prepares a special room just for you.

The RSVP includes calling out and acknowledging Him as the one true Host of your life.  At that moment, you feel a change in your life.  An indescribable joy consumes your days and each step taken in care to assure the path leads to the His house.  Should you veer right or left, you delay progress toward meeting the Host and preparation required to enter.  The gift cannot be purchased by any amount of money, work or effort.  It is given freely for you to then give back to the Host.  Each of us receive such a gift, but use it in specific ways to suit our Host, benefit His home and coincide with the talents He instilled within us.

We do not know when the day comes for such an event.  We know it will exceed our imagination.  We are not so sure who all will arrive, but we can work diligently to spread the news of such an event.  Utilize the gift given while here on Earth and upon arrival at His house, you will have much to offer the Host.  Others will see the joy developing in your life because you accepted the invite and responded.  The people you meet will desire the same for their life.  Point them to the Host so they may call out and acknowledge Him.  They too will receive a gift to use daily along the path leading to Him.

Activate the gift of the Holy Spirit in your lives and seek out the gift given for your life.  He instilled talents in each of us as He touched every fiber of our body in the womb and those talents allow us to be used in mighty ways to grow His Kingdom.  He wrapped His gift inside a beautiful and wonderful vessel.  He is proud to display this gift to the world.  Find your gift, use talents instilled to complete the desired tasks and when the day arrives to enter His home, you will be amazed at how many others came because of you.  Oh, and the room prepared just for you will be immaculate, lacking nothing.  And guess what? . . . This moment lasts for eternity!

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

Greatest Title

While attending a school party, I received a new name.  While hosting a child’s birthday party, I received another new name.  And yet again, while a guest at a company Christmas party, I received a third new name. 

Depending on location I am Sheree, a child’s mom or my husband’s wife.  Any of the names I will gladly answer.  I deem it a privilege to be the mother or wife.  You see, years ago, I made the decision to take on these titles.  The moment I laid eyes on that handsome boy (now husband), my heart melted.  I longed for the day to be called his wife.  Since our paths split for years before converging again, my heart melted all over upon the second meeting; this time for a blonde hair, blue eyed little guy.  He was six months old and awesome.  Not long after meeting him, I received title number one – mom! 

Couple years down the path and a walk down the aisle gave me title number two – wife!  The path to get to this point was rocky to say the least.  But, both of us knew deep down the place to be was in each other’s arms.  Now, by God’s guiding, we made it through and rest peacefully in each other’s arms daily. . .     

 

“I think about the years I spent just passing through.  I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you.  But you just smile and take my hand.  You've been there you understand.  It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.
Now I'm just rolling home.  Into my lover's arms.  This much I know is true.  That God blessed the broken road.  That led me straight to you.” – Rascal Flatts, Bless The Broken Road

Oh, the joys were not complete just yet.  Another little individual rolled into the picture after two years of trying fertility treatments.  Looking back I know it all occurred in God’s timing – which is perfect!  I now received title number three – another child’s mom!

A piece still missing, we trudged along the path.  Times remained rocky and some just down right tough to get through.  Without proper tools to fix any problems arising, we struggled to find peaceful solutions.  We just went through daily motions without meaning. 

One day, finding ourselves between a rock and a hard place, we tried to reach yet again for the world’s tools.  Realizing defeat comes when we place the world’s armor on, we decided to pitch it and place on God’s armor.  It is then, the path before us appeared smooth. 

Regretting the years trying it on our own, we approached the cross.  Guess what, my friend?  God simply smiled and took our hand.  He understands and knows the plans ahead.  He now could get to work and do His part each day. 

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.”

(John 1:12-13)

It is then I received the greatest title of all – Christ follower.  No matter the location in life, this title remains.  It should not be questionable to others whether to call me by this name or not.  As Christ followers, His light should shine through actions, words and thoughts wherever we travel.  Be it a basketball game, work, home, volunteer location, gym, etc.; all should see the Light shining through a following heart. 

Maybe the path to reach the cross looks rocky for you.  Maybe you long to have the title Christ follower, but feel unworthy.  Maybe you are too weak to make it to the cross.  Regardless of the situation, He waits, smiling and holding out His hand for you.  YES, YOU!  His plan for your life is grander than you can imagine.  You were created for a purpose and to hold the title Christ follower.

Come to know Him more, reach out in surrender and let Him work mightily.  Though the broken world will remain, your path will not be broken!  He provides the only tools which will bring you through anything stronger than you entered. 

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

Distractions

So, the other day my kids taught me the greatest lesson every person should. . .hold on, my phone just beeped.  My husband text me ‘good morning’; he is the sweetest guy I know.  Anyways, back to what my kids taught me; we headed out to the grocery store to pick up a few items. . .hold on, I just got a pop-up from Facebook.  My friend just posted the cutest picture of her on vacation with her husband.  I just love looking at photos of fun times on Facebook.  Okay, so we finally made it to the grocery store after construction traffic and hitting every stop light known to man.  My patience began wearing thin. . .wait a second, my IPad just alerted me to an email.  Some company wants me to buy the latest product.  I have no idea how all these places get my email address.  Back to my story, we battled the normal fights of who gets out of which side of the van, who locks the van and who pushes the cart.  Finally, we could begin our mission and check off our list of groceries.  Then, the lesson came. . .oh, what now?  My phone is ringing.  It was work needing help today.   Where was I with this posting?  Oh, I forget.

Beeps, pop-ups, alerts and rings consume our days.  Is all this technology a good thing?  We can reach thousands of people with just a click, text a quick message to a friend, plan a vacation in seconds with a great search engine, buy anything desired while sitting in our pajamas at home and email a special note rather than snail mail.  Yes, benefits come with technology and knowledge.  BUT, so does stress, stolen joy, missed opportunities, lessons lost and busy minds.  Take my opening for example. . .the greatest lesson I learned could not be shared because of distractions from technology.  Had those not be there, I could remember and share it with others.

I people watch.  What I see. . .heads down, fingers going to town on smartphones, people mesmerized by IPad screens, blue tooth devices helping people talk and walk, etc.  What happened to sitting on the front porch in a rocker and having a conversation in person?  All while watching the sunset turn various colors.  What about sitting around a campfire talking about anything that comes to mind?  What about sitting together as a family to eat your evening meal?  I am just as guilty as the next person.  Admittedly, I have text while driving, sat poolside scanning through Facebook while my kids kept begging me to watch them or talked on the phone while I should be engaging in conversation with my husband.  I only hurt myself and miss out on relationships, joy, growth and love.  God intended for us to have true, real relationships with one another and the world bombards us with distractions.  What can we do about this?

Well, join me in shoving away the phones, IPads and laptops and drive over to a friend’s house, go play with the kids, have a date with a loved one or just sit in quiet with God.  DO THIS DAILY!  I feel the most loved, the most fulfilled when I just sit and talk with someone.  I love to talk with people and share stories in person.  I love to sit with God and take in His Creation (sunsets, animals in the wild, country land, etc.).  Let us get back to what truly matters in life.  Let us not do as the world does.  Let us love one another without distraction.

Now, I must go spend the day with my family. . .

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

Error = Knowledge

When sharing knowledge with others, often times I gained that knowledge through error.  For example, what I learn on a computer develops due to error and realizing the correct way to get a task done in the first place.  Through error, I also learn how to fix problems and get back on track.  It may take me longer the first time, but I then can pass the knowledge on to the next person and the process can go faster for them.

Another example comes when learning a new job.  It seems mistakes appear right and left in the first few weeks; but, it is in that time I learn the most.  I learn what NOT to do, what NEEDS done and how to handle failure.  Cool part of it all is that the next person can learn early on from my mistakes and I now become a teacher/leader. 

The successful teacher/leader develops out of a past jammed full with mistakes.  They take each one and turn it into knowledge.  Then pass that onto another.  The flipside: a poor teacher/leader develops when each mistake is tallied as failed attempts.  These build one by one to teardown an individual.  Nothing is left to pass onto when the individual loses faith in oneself due to mistakes.

A time in history exists when I chalked up each mistake as failure.  I tore down any possibility of success in my little ole life.  I avoided opportunities due to fear of more failure.  When mistakes occurred, I simply gave up, refusing to learn for the next time.  One by one, each mistake drove me deeper into a pit.  I landed smack dab in the middle without any tools to get out.  An eating disorder, depression, addiction and failure joined in on this failed life. 

Ah, but one day, a light shone through a tiny gap.  That light came through a child of God.  He used one child as a vessel to teach and lead me to Truth.  His child gained knowledge through error in the past.  This child learned numerous lessons in the past stemming from error.  He taught the child what NOT to do, what NEEDS to be done and how to handle the failed attempts.

I looked to the light and with each step towards it, failure minimized.  Mistakes turned into lessons.  No longer did mistakes define me, they only drove me to teach/lead others to the same Truth. 

It is through Truth we learn from the ultimate Teacher.  We learn what NOT to do each step of the way.  We gain tools to resist sin and turn mistakes into ministry.  We learn what NEEDS to be done in life.  Once learning Truth, our Leader points in the direction to GO.  Go make disciples, teaching others Truth so they too may come to know the ultimate Teacher.  We also learn how to handle failure.  As humans, we will fail.  We need not remain in failure.  Learn from mistakes and move forward.

Will you take all mistakes in the past/present and lay them at the cross today?  God will use each one to develop your ministry.  Yes, YOU!  You were made for ministry.  Ask the ultimate Teacher today for guidance in developing your ministry based on His plan and purpose for you. 

Are you sitting in a pit such as I was years ago?  Look closely for even the smallest light shining through the surrounding storm.  It is there, I promise.  Look for that light and then don’t take your eyes off it.  You too will rise out of the pit and build a ministry.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

Go Through the Process

Weeks overdue, my son finally got a haircut.  He resisted such an event; mainly due to going through the process sounded miserable.  As the discussion arose, he grew angry.  The time was perfect – we had a coupon, no plans on the calendar that day and the wait time minimal at the hair shop.  Not convinced, he continued to stomp around and throw every excuse in the book to why today did not appear the day to get a haircut.  The infamous line, “I will do it tomorrow,” came from his lips numerous times.  Our retort – “Tomorrow has too many plans of its own leaving no time for haircuts.” 

The process my son dreads begins with removal from his fun day, shifting his plans around to get a stinkin haircut.  It continues with sitting in a stupid chair while a stranger comes at him with a razor and scissors.  Oh, it gets worse. . .he then must choose from various flavors a sucker as a reward for sitting still; misery, right?  With hair covering his neck, causing itching sensations, he must sit in the stupid car to ride ten minutes fighting the urge to scratch.  Then, arriving at home, he must head straight to the shower and listen to his OCD mother instruct on the process of clothe removal to minimize spreading of hair.  All this for a stinkin haircut.

But, looking in the mirror changes the attitude.  Feeling better without a mop on his head sheds light on the importance of such a process.  His new image is handsome and less hair means better comfort throughout the day.  He now experiences less sweating, more time in the morning due to removing the need to wet down his bedhead and not to mention his clean cut style looks great! 

Beginning our Christian journey in such a broken world can feel just like the above scenario.  Years overdue, we finally get it.  We finally realize there is more than this world, the world cannot provide the peace needed and relying on the world to heal leaves greater brokenness.  So, why do so many resist the gift given through the death of our Lord and Savior?  Why put off accepting the Truth into our lives?     

The process sounds unbearable, impossible and we believe the gift cannot be available for us with such sin present in our lives.  We hear discussions daily, read devotions pertaining to such a gift and watch others persevere through the process successfully.  Anger may arise the more the devil convinces that we are not worthy of His gift.  But, my dear friend, God knows the timing is perfect – He holds tightly to you, waiting to fulfill the plans made for your life and believing in you.  Not convinced, we throw that infamous line out, “Tomorrow, I will begin anew.”  Well, tomorrow seems to never come. . .but God is patient. 

He understands the dread of removing sin, changing our plans and ideas created in life.  Once giving our lives to Christ, it appears the devil steps up his game all while God works diligently to remove sinful nature.  God comes in with pruning shears, while the devil comes in with all reason not to remove the sin.  God provides various rewards as we step one foot in front of the other down the glorious path, continuing through the process.  He gives freedom, peace, love, comfort, His presence and help at all times. 

Continuing through the process of maturation in Christ, we fight the urge to believe the enemy.  Sin continues to crouch around the corner trying to enter the path.  But, we now have power through His Word and the armor to withstand anything the world tries to bring into the path.  All of this for a beautiful transformation.

One day, we glance into the mirror to reveal an image not seen in the past.  We walk with a lighter step without such heavy burden resting on our shoulders.  The new image created in Christ looks beautiful, peaceful and wonderful.  The new life reveals purpose, sets an example and worth every bit of the process.  You now sit on the receiving side of His gift. 

The time is now.  His gift awaits.  No more excuses, procrastination or disbelief.  Will you accept His gift today and begin the process?  It is worth it my friend.  If you have accepted His gift, will you now go and make disciples, teaching others about such a gift?  It is available to ALL – no exemptions. 

Keep praying harder than the devil can work

Set Up a Session Today

Throughout nursing college, pages upon pages of knowledge packed into my brain.  Carpel tunnel stood at bay due to writing countless note cards.  Back pain appeared due to the weight of thousand page books carried to class daily.  Exhaustion seeped in due to late nights/early mornings filled with homework and studying.  In looking back at all semesters, I question how I survived. . .

It is those moments when a patient thanks you for the care provided for the day and when I catch myself understanding a concept or pouring forth information learned which makes the above issues worth it.  Among all the concepts, words and skills learned, one word sticks out. . .DEBRIEF.  It never showed up on a test, never made it into any assignment, no patient ever asked about it and probably not found in the textbooks.  But, the word holds powerful meaning to me.

With all the confidentiality forms signed, one cannot take any information or experiences and share with others outside the medical unit.  What nurse’s see, hear, perform and encounter daily remains unpredictable.  One never knows what will come as they enter the room of a patient or client.  Many times nothing traumatic occurs and the procedures, examinations, assessments and care run quite smoothly.  Then, you have those days when events stir up much emotion inside.  How can one process all this alone?  How can one cope with traumatic situations without running to a confidant?  The emotions need to be dealt with constructively.  In comes my favorite word. . .DEBRIEF.  Nurses are able to step away from the situation, grab a fellow nurse or manager and pour out all those emotions.  Together, they work through all that just happened in a safe place which still provides confidentiality.  In knowing a source exists to bring relief from all the emotions accumulated throughout a shift brings peace.

Did you know that a Source exists to help you through all the emotions accumulated throughout each day of life?  This Source offers empathy, listening ears, comforting arms, Truth on which to stand and love to heal.  He never sleeps.  He never grows weary.  He remains always, ready to hear from you.  You do not have to face trials alone.

Who do you turn when you need to DEBRIEF?  A confidant, family member, stranger, counselor. . .  God does provide help, guidance and comfort through these relationships, but He needs to be first and foremost Source for help.  The events we encounter daily remain unpredictable.  As we leave the front door, we have no clue what will come with each step.  Days may fill with traumatic events which stir up much emotion inside.  Days may fill with joys beyond belief.  Days may be mundane without much to talk about.  But, each day we need a debrief session.  Processing through the range of emotions helps in numerous ways.

God cares so much about our days.  Give Him the honor of sharing your most intimate emotions concerning the day you just experienced.  He provides a safe place and provides the highest level of confidentiality.  He loves to hear from you. . .will you share your day with Him?

Tonight, before going to bed, step away from the situations of your day and set up a debrief session with God.  He will open your eyes to healing, celebrate your joys right along with you, dry any tears that may fall and help you see what to do next time should the event occur again.  He is our ultimate Healer, Counselor and Guide for our lives.  Trust Him.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
Sheree Craig  

Every Part Matters

CONFESSION:  I HAVE LITTLE PATIENCE. . .

when it comes to electronics, devices, vehicles or appliances failing to function according to its purpose.  The lack of performance only hinders MY schedule and work I need to accomplish.  Time does not exist for defective ‘things’ in my day.  I dare not complete chores or work the long way, right?

Daily, I send out a helpdesk ticket to my mechanic, IT technician, plumber, repairman and AAA personnel (AKA – my husband).  The frantic calls only interrupt the important work required at his job.  Does he really need to hear my complaints and troubles on top of his own?  Probably not, but I send them anyway.  The poor man puts up with me and calmly tries to walk me through the issue at hand via phone or email.  God knew what He was doing sending me such a partner as this.  No one else could put up with this impatient girl!

So, the latest is our printer.  It produces the word, images and tasks asked of it, BUT not in proper color.  My baseball fields appear in that ugly green color found to be brand new in a crayon box because no kid ever uses it.  The Wal-Mart logo appears pale pink.  Some silly message pops up each time I print a page with a little red warning symbol on it.  I close out without reading each time. . .

Oh, that could be the problem (see, again NO PATIENCE to even take time to read this message).  I decided to read it one day and come to find out our yellow ink is running low.  I pull up the graph displaying the level of each color and sure enough, yellow appears low.  Cyan, Magenta and Black levels remain in sufficient amounts to print documents fed to the printer.  But, yellow must play a very important role in producing each color efficiently.  Why do you need yellow for a Wal-Mart logo?  Just darken the Cyan a bit, right?  What does yellow have to do with green?  Okay, so obviously not an art major here.  But, apparently yellow is needed to mix with the other three colors in some precise formula to produce a picture that this perfectionist, impatient girl will be satisfied with.

Without this component, the printer cannot function.  It does not seem like a huge factor when looking at the overall picture (no pun intended) of how a printer works.  Most think about the mechanics of the device when keeping up with maintenance of it.  But, without proper ink levels, jobs remain incomplete.

Just so, in life without all the hands working together for God’s Kingdom, jobs remain incomplete.  Whatever God calls us to do, will contribute to completion of His plan.  No matter the size, ranking, prestige, income, etc.; your service matters.  Continue to give at even the smallest level.  Continue to speak His Word to even just one person a day.  Continue to walk with His light shining through you.  Continue on the path laid for you.  Your contribution matters to Him.  Give, work and love from the heart.  Without you – the Body of Christ cannot function to full capability.  Read 1 Corinthians 12:12-31.  We as Christians need you to complete the work of our God.  We as Christians need you to bring others, who do not know our God, to know Him and experience the joy and peace offered because of the sacrifice of His only Son.

The other ink in my printer works harder to produce a decent picture since yellow cannot complete its duties.  Just so, we as Christians must help one another when ‘out of commission’.  Pick each other up when one is down.  Work as a team with our Coach guiding every play.  Rejoice together, giving praise to the One Who provides the reason for the joy experienced.

Go today and complete the plans He laid before you!  Ignore the rankings and importance society may place on your work.  Be confident in knowing, God needs you to keep His Kingdom functioning properly.  We each have talents and gifts to share.  Share yours boldly for Him.

“For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body. . .” (1 Corinthians 12:13a)
“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” (1 Corinthians 12:27)  
   

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
Sheree Craig