"Remember when. . ."
"I had such a good time when we. . ."
"This was my favorite. . ."
"Every year we. . ."
For Father's Day, My father-in-law asked only for one day worth of work from his sons. I went to help (or just supervise!) as well. The project included organizing a barn full of decorations, things needing to go elsewhere and boxes full of memorabilia. After completing the shelves, we began to sift through the boxes and store them in the proper place. We found pictures, clothes, crafts, yearbooks and awards. We found camping equipment, sports equipment, house ware items and eight track tapes.
With each find, a memory followed. I heard the boys and my mother-in-law talk about camping, their old grocery store, the different houses they inhabited, etc. Laughter came often with each story. Placing most in the 'yard sale' pile seemed difficult at times. They wanted to hang on to the item which sparked those wonderful memories.
Unfortunately, I do not have this kind of past. When I look back and try to remember good times, I see hurt, sadness and struggle. Satan's lies tainted much of my past. I share memories with my eating disorder, not my family or friends. As I look at pictures, I feel as though I am viewing my sentence served in prison. Satan prowled around my every memory and killed any joy (see 1 Peter 5:8).
"But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them." (Genesis 50:19-21)
The current series in our church has been difficult for me. The series titled, Home Makeover, studies the different aspects which a home needs to become spiritually healthy, to send children out with a solid Christian foundation and to love one another. Tears come each week as I think back to my home growing up. Our home needed much repair. Just as the show "Extreme Home Makeover" tears down the homes to begin building new, I believe the destruction our family experienced allows a new life to be built. This life will be built with God at the center.
Joseph experienced the worst of times, yet never turned his sight from God. He knew this world/family intended harm, but God intended good. I must focus as Joseph did and see all this hurt, pain and sorrow occurred so God could accomplish the good He intended for my life. I often feel so damaged that I just need to be thrown in the trash. I must shift my thoughts to know that I am not wasted material (trash), but salvaged material (recycle). God restores my life daily. He brings beauty out of the rubble remaining from a destructive past.
I have failed thousands of times, but God never stopped loving me. I will fail many times more, yet God will not stop loving me. His light shines always, never failing, never leaving. His mercies are new every morning. Allow God to use your hurts to save another's life. Begin building memories with Him so when we get to Heaven we can sit and reminisce about the good ole times we had together!
God, thank You for today. Thank You for the restoration occurring in my life. May I cling to what is good and weed through bad memories to see the great times of my past. May I focus on You, seeing The Truth. May I place my self-worth in You and not allow my past to define me. I love You.
Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
Sheree Craig
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