At the age of 14, I had it all. I had a boyfriend, played basketball, friends, married parents, active lifestyle and good grades. My world went smoothly, at just the perfect pace each day. I did not struggle with any emotions, yet handled them well. I felt confident in fulfilling the roles assigned.
Slowly, life crept up on my and before I realized, I drowned. By the age of 15, my life flipped upside down. My mom and I lived in one place, while my dad moved for his career, four hours away. I did not make the basketball team. My group of friends diminished. My spirit crushed a little more each day. I did keep my grades up and remained with my boyfriend; but, inside I felt unsure of my fulfillment in those roles. I never felt good enough. Nothing stayed constant, everything changed out of my control.
I grabbed on to my eating disorder for the first time that year. I loved it. No one could force food in my mouth or take away my exercise. I did this pretty well. I felt confident again, fulfilling the role of Anorexic. Okay, so mom and I moved with dad at age 16, I lost my boyfriend, began a new school and all of life changed again. But, my Anorexia stayed. Such a great friend, never changing, never leaving. Throughout those years, I never knew what came next. My parents divorced and life continued crazy. Anorexia knew just how to help me cope and bring me comfort.
"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)
Wow, did I have it all wrong. This life will bring constant change, mostly out of our control. We cannot control the decisions of others or the trials we will face here. We CAN cling to God, though. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Fear nothing, for God is by your side. If you believe in Him, trust His guidance and faithfully follow; nothing will be too great for you to bear. He will provide strength, comfort and love. He is such a great friend, never changing, never leaving.
My fear of the unknown brought me to the worst of places and into bondage I could not control. Again, I lost control. Praise God, Who saved me! He broke the chains and removed the links, one at a time. He held me in His arms and comforted me through each lie, feeding me with Truth. I now see the One to cling at ALL times. Things can change, God stays the same.
I still find myself stressing when life gets complicated, busy or out of control. Instead of grabbing my eating disorder and running for comfort; I grab His hand and instantly feel comforted. I know He will work all things out for the good of those who love Him. Thank You God for loving me and showing me freedom. Thank You for lighting my way.
Cling to Him at all times and avoid the temporary fixes that the devil would love for us to grab a hold of! These only lead to bondage, destruction and further away from Truth. Seek Him!
God, thank you for another day. Thank You for the health You restored in my life. I will cling to You always and know You will comfort me. I love You.
Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
Sheree Craig
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