Although addiction may be pinpointed by an outsider or doctor rather quick; what about co-addicts? Did you ever think you could easily become a co-addict? A co-addict does not necessarily supply the addict with the substance or "drug" of choice, but they do not take a stand to eliminate the addiction. A co-addict may fear "rocking the boat" because it may send the sufferer further into addiction. They may not want to add any more stress or problems by standing firm on the right choices in life. Co-addicts allow the behavior to continue without reprimand, teaching or forcing the addict to own up to the problem.
Let me provide an example to explain my thinking. My mother, which I love with all my heart and is my best friend (don't tell my husband or kids), was a co-addict. My mom sat and watched me continue destructive, addictive behaviors for years because she knew not how to approach me. She knew of the difficult life around us and did not want to create more by confronting my eating disorder. I recall one instance when I first realized my mother was my co-addict. She came to visit me in rehab once and I reached a level which allowed me to go out of the facility. We went to grab some lunch (the first time I had eaten outside of the facility) and mom knew this would be stressful and difficult for me to choose a meal. We suggested a few places and with each one she spouted off a "healthy" item on the menu. She would say, "They have salads to choose from." She did not want any stress in my life and knew I would feel comfortable eating a salad versus a full meal. This is co-addiction in my eyes. I needed to be challenged to fight my eating disorder and replace the lies of only allowing myself to eat salads with the truth that my body needed all types of food (YES, even carbs!).
My mom did this out of love. She did not want to see me stressed, hurting or struggling with the destructive thoughts of inadequacy, imperfection or feeling unacceptable. I understand her intentions and by no means blame her for anything. The point is that we can become co-addicts and not realize the damage we cause to others around us. What my mom did not see was that I did suffer, struggled and hurt severely inside regardless if I ate a salad or a juicy burger. I needed a firm word, a wake up call and Truth spoken to me. I needed intervention!
People of this world need intervention. Let us not turn our heads when we see evil. Replace evil with good. Let us not listen to another speak about their troubles and the sinful choices they continue to make with a nod and a hug. Replace sin with Truth. Let us not allow addictions to continue in others for fear of losing friendships. Replace addiction with teaching of Scripture, standing firm on His Word.
"And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." (Hebrews 13:16)
Losing a friend by speaking Truth is nothing compared to keeping quiet and allowing your friend to destroy their lives with addiction, sin, anger, bitterness or other destructive decisions. We were brought here by our Creator to spread His Word, to teach others the Way to go and lead them to Him. Doing so, displays love towards His Children. The other may not see or feel the love, but the seed planted will be watered as you lift them in prayer continually. I am not saying to go out and beat others with the Bible or hound them with Scripture. What I am saying is avoid co-addiction. Do not condone other's behavior or try and make their world as happy and comfortable for them. This behavior will exhaust you and the other will remain in a pit. Help them out of the pit by loving them with Truth, prayer and example. We cannot become cowards in spreading His Word. Stay strong and bold in every situation. You may lose some friendships, experience uncomfortable conversations or feel awkward BUT, we are not here to increase our friends list on Facebook. God sent us here to be His hands and feet and increase in number those entering His Kingdom.
I want to end with an excerpt from Brian Jones' book, "Hell is Real (But I Hate to Admit It)".
"Christianity is a religion meant to solve a sin problem. It is not a religion meant to solve all the problems of this world."
No, we cannot MAKE all the problems in other's lives or in this world go away. But, we can assure that we stand firm on His Truths, spreading the Gospel everywhere He leads us and NOT become co-addicts to nonbelievers. Lead them with love and example.
God, thank you for another day. Thank You for providing Truth into our lives so we may spread to others who suffer. Help me teach, rebuke, correct and train in righteousness. Give me the words to intervene with love. I want others to see Your goodness and the freedom found only through You. I want others to know that addiction cannot be their way of life. I have seen the victory I have in You and I thank You for freeing me from bondage. I want others to experience the same. Help me plant Truthful seeds in others, everywhere You lead me. I love You.
Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
Sheree Craig
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