#2 - It is not just "for better", it's also "for worse."
This one hits home for me. With my background, I brought lots of baggage into marriage. Not only did I bring my anorexia, but also my need to please, perfectionism and low self-esteem. I cannot imagine the struggles my husband dealt with trying to live with someone of this nature. Most days, I hated living with myself and weighed on my own nerves. But, he stuck with me "for worse" and focused on the "for better" times.
Bringing two individuals, each with different characteristics, under one roof to manage a life as one flesh requires effort. Marriage differs from dating in so many ways. Some people say "I do" with intent of living just as they did while dating. WRONG! When dating, the two may still hold tightly to their "me" boxes and live selfishly. After the honeymoon, things change dramatically. The "me" boxes must be left at the door as the groom carries his bride through the threshold to their new home. Becoming one in flesh requires one new box together containing compromise, love, grace and joy. Keep focus on the happiness of the other and both come out joyous. These ideas lead to Mark's truth #6 - It is not about getting from your spouse, it is about giving to your spouse.
#3 - It is not always a stroll in the park; it's a front line battle in the world.
Remember those walks on a fall day when the breeze is light and the sun shining. The leaves are changing color and bring comfort to the soul. I feel so calm just imagining the scenario. On the other hand, think of a rainy, cold day when your car gets a flat on the side of the road. A gas station sits just one mile back and you must walk there for help. Your cell phone died 10 minutes after leaving home this morning. This scenario paints a much different feeling.
Well, marriage can be like either of these mentioned. One day it is easy, fun and relaxing. The next day, you want to run so far away because times are too tough. Outside influences may try and split a marriage. One partner may be going through the toughest of situations and lacking energy to give to the relationship. This is when love must conquer. God created marriage to be a team effort in working for Him. Together, with Him as the coach, you and your spouse can be victorious. Don't sit the bench. Give it 100% effort every day. If one spouse suffers, the other must take over and carry the load. Just as on a team, the players on the DL take some time to recover while the other players cover and keep the game running smoothly. The team does not give up, condemn the injured, blame the injured or ignore the necessary steps for recovery. No, they listen to the coach, run the plays and continue to aide the injured in healing. Same goes for marriage. Be there for each other, focus on God's plan and don't allow chaos in life to give Satan a foothold. Bond closer in tough times. These ideas lead to Mark's truth #4 - It is not 50/50 partnership, it's 100/100 give it all you got.
"A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." (Proverbs 12:4)
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." (Proverbs 12:4)
"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife." (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)
"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)
Marriage will be tough. Satan hates to see success in couples. If his lies and schemes can tear the two apart, then a whole family and the life God intended will be destroyed. Stand on the Truth of God, our Coach, and tell Satan to get behind you and your spouse. Don't allow footholds by sinning against one another. Instead, embrace one another, love one another and face this world together serving God. He will bring peace to the marriage and love for one another beyond your imagination.
What can you do today to express thanks to God for providing you a teammate for life?
Find a way today to appreciate your spouse.
God, thank you for another day with my family and my husband. I cannot express in words how much I appreciate You sending me a teammate. I enjoy every game encountered in life with him by my side. You have built up the most perfect spouse for me to face any challenge or struggle. Thank You for sending him to love me through all the messes in life. Continue to call out the plays loud and clear to us so we may hear You coaching us and drown out Satan's lies. I love You.
Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
Sheree Craig
To learn more about marriage, visit Mark Merrill's thoughts at http://www.familyminute.com/.
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