Open Book

Thank you for taking this seven day journey back in time with me.  It is never easy to look back and even harder to share the faults and failures consuming the past.  Holding tightly to a facade of having it all together is the daily plan, right?  Moving back to Indiana when numbers labeled my body ‘healthy’ created a prime opportunity to play out that façade.  No one had to know ANY of the past.  Those seeing the early years of my eating disorder had long forgotten or not even noticed.  The ugliest portion of the disease occurred nearly 200 miles away.  My eating disorder hid perfectly until the tailspin dropped numbers to unhealthy status AGAIN.  But, I only had to tell a handful of people to get those numbers back up, right?  My past should remain my past and a closed book for only those who were present at the time to know, right?

Oh, how the enemy would love for me to close the book, smile like I have life all figured out and throw Scripture out daily to cover any issue to appear faultless.  The enemy would cling to this façade and wait for a trigger to then slide his foot in the door to my heart.  The closed book would hold many titles: shame, guilt, ugly, unworthy, useless, failure, mistake, etc.  Once the enemy moved in on a triggering situation, one by one these titles would begin defining me AGAIN!

My past is my past.  No one else can write a story exactly like it.  The further into recovery I travel, the stronger my voice becomes to share in hopes to help.  The closer my walk moves in line with His Will, the clearer my vision becomes to bring understanding.  It amazes me the people God brings into this journey and how one piece of my story helps them see His presence. 

Joyce Meyer once said (paraphrase); ‘the enemy becomes upset when we heal from bondage and follow Christ; but, the enemy despises the moment we take our recovery and spread it out to others.’ 

Yes, healing hurts and walking close with God is the ultimate goal in each of our lives.  But, taking our personal journey and reaching out to help another through the same fulfills our purpose in this life.  Every day, keeping our history book wide open allows Him to turn to the page needed for sharing to another.  It is in that moment the other sees His light shine through you.  

“who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.   For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”  (2 Corinthians 1:4-5)

I pray this week helped readers to go and help others.  I pray this week inspired readers to go and incorporate their past into the present to reach others.  I pray this week brought clarity, understanding, encouragement and hope. 

Don’t hesitate to reach out to the hurting.  You reach out and God will step in to do mighty things through you.  Yes – YOU!  He needs your help in this broken world.  Let us work together in this world, be real with one another and just spread the love.  Next time you see that struggling teen (you know, the one everyone labels as ‘bad’, ‘disobedient’, ‘going nowhere in life’), look beyond the behaviors to understand why such rebellion.  Next time you hear of an individual engaging in self-harm, hold your hand out in comfort to listen and understand the emotion behind this numbing behavior.  Next time you see a sullen face, unhealthy lifestyle, chaos overtaking a soul, tear stained face or even a constant ‘fake’ smile; don’t judge.  The story behind these responses needs addressed.  Anything held tightly in silence provides ammunition for the enemy to take over.

Love to all my readers and please continue to read as I share the lessons learned in this life.

And as always my dear friends,

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.