Being a minister’s wife holds advantages and
disadvantages. I sit absorbing the
messages delivered and various emotions arise.
One being happiness for my husband to take on a role he enjoys. I also feel proud of the man God has/is
developing and using. Another emotion
includes thankfulness for answered prayers.
I spent hours praying for my husband to come to know Jesus and take Him
as Lord and Savior. God answered those
prayers in ways beyond anything I could imagine.
Along with above mentioned, one emotion sits deep in my
heart while listening the weekly messages. . .FEAR! Yes, fear is present each week pertaining to
what personal story he may use to bring the message home. I am by no means opposed to using real life
situations to help relate a biblical story in the message. We are called to use the Bible as a guide to
navigate through this world and become more like Jesus along the way. But, the fear stems from approval needs. Feeling judged based on the dysfunction of
our family. Because every other family
in the world is perfect, right?
I grew up hiding behind a perfect smile. The dysfunctions occurring inside the home
could not be spoke of when going in public or to anyone. Smiles can cover up hardships placing a
façade on your life. There comes a time
when the smile just cannot overpower the pain, sadness and dysfunction. At that point the pit we dug measures in
depth well beyond physical height. Our
eyes see nothing but darkness.
One day my smile faded, pit dug and darkness overtook every
piece of my life. Eventually, I saw it:
the light peeping through the tiniest of hole which led me out of my pit. I learned that anything left in darkness
provides strength for the enemy to dig the pit deeper. Sharing life with others is how God intended
life. He builds others up to provide
sound teaching, solid Truth and survival tips for life. He uses their stories to reach those in need.
“who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can
comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
(2 Corinthians 1:4)
Without sharing our dysfunctions and how God brings us through,
we deprive others of witness to His great Power. We are not perfect and God knows this, yet
still loves us through it all. Those
moments become our testimony with which He uses to find the lost. Don’t hide behind a smile. Allow God to use you! Be real.
Be you.
You see my husband is living real. He is the same man at home, work, baseball
and church. That life is much better
than handing the devil a shovel with which to dig my pit as I hide behind a
smile. I am learning to avoid worldly
approval and live for God. I am a
working progress. God provides much
grace as I fall victim to the approval trap too often.
Yes, the Craig family lives in dysfunction. Yes, we fail to reach perfection each
day. Yes, we require much grace. I would not have it any other way. I pray our moments become our testimonies to
reach the lost, hurting and those hiding behind a smile.
A plaque on our living room wall sums up our house:
“In this house we do second chances, we do real, we do
grace, we do mistakes, we do I’m sorry, we do loud really well, we do hugs, we
do family, we do love!”
Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
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