The Correct Language

Moving right along in our marriage a discovery is made.  Marriage does not come easy.  It takes intentional work to keep two individuals meshed as one.  It takes full attention to recognize when one begins to divide into two.  This brings me to another lesson learned. . .

3)  We must speak to one another in love. . .

Language that is!  In order to discovery the other’s love language, intuition must develop.  Speaking love language of the other requires denying self.  Married couples need to date one another, giving prime opportunity to speak love language one on one.

Let’s talk about intuition first.  Watching your spouse, observing mannerisms, taking note of times when joy overflows and just finding out what makes them smile helps build intuition and discover their love language.  Five love languages exist: Gifts, Quality Time, Words, Acts of Service and Physical touch.  You may just need to flat out ask your spouse which language they understand and equate to love. 

God paired me with one who understands physical touch (mind out of the gutters – this includes any touch, not just intimate touch).  Unfortunately, with my past and the home environment, this is the most difficult language for me to speak.  Therefore, I must work through a messy past and develop this language in order to love my spouse to the fullest.  When developing/learning a new language, diligence must be present. 

Each person wakes daily with an empty love jar.  It becomes our role to fill the jar daily.  In order to do so, self must be denied.  Just because we feel loved by hearing a specific language, does not mean our spouse hears the same.  Denying our needs, looking to fulfill our spouse’s needs, becomes priority.  Shifting in this direction leads to your spouse desiring to fill your jar as well.  Someone must start the process though.

Not too far back, life began to get crazy with an overflowing schedule.  Days passed and empty love jars lined the counter in our home.  Once counter space reached capacity, a time-out needed to occur!  I voiced such concern to my spouse in this manner:  “Life is getting crazy and our love languages are far off the radar.  Someone needs to begin speaking love language around here.  I am stubborn, so I suggest you begin.”  See, my dear friends, when our spouse is not speaking love in the way we receive then our desire to display love to them diminishes.  Someone needs to begin speaking love language!

A fantastic way to take a time-out to refuel, refocus and redefine relationships is date night!  This night plays such importance on the connection between spouses.  This night helps mend any brokenness occurring due to worldly pressures.  This night keeps two individuals meshed as one.  This night need be present weekly.  Yes, I said weekly!  Hang with me here. . .

Date night can include a morning coffee for 30 minutes, a bubble bath in the evening, candlelit dinner/dessert after putting kids down for the night, a walk in the park after work before picking kids up for the evening, a phone conversation over lunch break or watching a funny lighthearted show together.  I do encourage at least once a month hiring that babysitter, getting dolled up and spending a little money to go out on the town.  Take the time to get cleaned up – ladies this includes shaving (past the knee this time), finding a nice outfit, dabbing on some makeup and taking the time to feel beautiful.  Men this includes trimming the nails, clean shaving faces, ironing the outfit and taking time to make your wife feel beautiful!

Fall in love again DAILY!  Chase after your spouse’s heart.  Make date nights prime time to steal their heart.  Make date night a time full of remember when. . .when laughter existed in our relationship, when flirting filled our days, when carefree minds came together and when life had no daily responsibilities.  Do not discuss kids, money, household chores, etc. on the date.  Take each moment and build up that passion to then return home and be with one another intimately (yes, you read that correctly).  Intimacy is very important in a relationship.  Connecting in such a manner keeps two individuals meshed as one. 

Ending on that wonderful note. . .

One important factor still remains. . .

Until tomorrow Keep praying harder than the devil can work.