Another encouraging word I found helpful in solidifying the
commitment list created. . .
“Commitment means staying
LOYAL to what you said YOU were going to do long after the MOOD you said it in
has LEFT you!”
OUCH AGAIN!
In comes the exact reason resolutions fail year after year. Beginning anew on January 1st creates
a sense of fresh start throughout our bodies.
We enter a mood of starting over, pushing all the vices behind and moving
forward in a better condition than ever before.
Well, as the days pass and life continues with trials and tribulations
appearing here and there, our mood quickly fades in the background. Loyalty breaks and the shred bin receive our
resolution list. Strength fails, leaving
us to slowly slip back into old ways. We
find ourselves picking up each and every vice we vowed to leave behind.
The cycle continues. Such
a cycle overtook my life. Once committed
to recovery, physical health restored pretty quickly. The emotional health comes with more
difficulty. Being a woman, moods come
and go rapidly; depending on situations, conversations, people and
itineraries. I could have a tough day
emotionally, feeling beat up each hour and consumed with eating disorder thoughts. Exhaustion strikes and times come when I give
into those thoughts, finding comfort for just that moment. When I wake in the morning, regret hits. . . moving
to guilt . . .then to hatred for my eating disorder. The mood for a fresh start, completely saying
GOODBYE to my eating disorder arises.
This is the day! I will not succumb
to patterns of this world; I am on the road to recovery and will not veer to
the right or left AT ALL!
I boldly step out into the day. At work, a conversation arises concerning
weight loss tactics. At school, a
failing grade appears on an exam. At
home, the kids bring awareness to shortcomings as a mom. My husband remains too busy that evening to
talk. A friend disapproves of choices
made that day. Mistakes pile up at work
displaying imperfection. The list
continues and new situations arise to steal my mood of commitment. I fall into the second part of the cycle with
the temptation arising to find control, accomplishment, perfection, friendship,
approval, comfort and love through my eating disorder. When the mood to stay loyal diminishes, it
becomes easier to submit to temptations.
Oh, my friend, this is the moment in the cycle where the devil rejoices.
. .he won that moment and chalks up a point for himself. The losing side, ME, receives shame, guilt
and only temporary joy.
So, how can we quit the cycle and remain in everlasting JOY
no matter the situation, conversations, people or itinerary? “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not
consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) Our God loves us so much! His grace will cover the years filled with
such a cycle as described above. He will
deduct every point the devil accumulated and call you by name to His team. Remaining on His team will provide the tools
and strength required to remain in the mood of loyalty. Each moment the mood begins to slip in the
slightest way; God will come in as you reach for Him, ask of Him and believe in
His power to keep you stable. Take a
stand on His Truth and push aside the moody cycles. Take His Hand and remain loyal to Him.
God, I ask for your help and guidance in each of my
days. Give me strength to remain loyal
to commitments and keep my eyes on You!
Help me to hate my eating disorder so much that any temptation the devil
throws in my path will not look enticing in any way. Remind me that remaining loyal brings
everlasting JOY even in a world full of trials and tribulation. In You I find peace, comfort, approval,
accomplishment, friendship and love.
Only You are perfect and I give all control to You! Thank You for graces which took/takes/will
take care of all my shortcomings and boldly tell the devil to move over! I love You.
Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
Sheree Craig
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