Failure, defeat, lack of success. . .words we never want
heard in the same sentence as our name.
Growing up, I fought for approval from two very important people in my
life – my parents. Approval equated
love. Whatever sport, grade, chore or
decision pleased my parents, I did it.
The pressures increased each day to hear an “atta girl” from them. If not received, failure entered my
world. Guilt, shame and inadequacy
followed those thoughts of failure. A
bondage? Maybe so. Does a way out exist? Definitly yes!
A need for approval followed me throughout the years and
overflowed to the relationships I encountered.
I desired to be loved and feared rejection. Ever criticism, disapproving remark or lack
of success weighed heavily on my heart.
Each event turned inward. It
progressed to the point where I just gave up.
The bondage squeezed so tightly I could not breathe. I avoided any situation or relationship that
posed a risk of failure or rejection. I
hid behind all the lies, my eating disorder and anything to numb out from the
pain of rejection and disapproval. A
bondage? For sure. Does a way out exist? Absolutely!
It took until my mid 20’s to face all this mess created by
none other than Satan. Years I wasted
suffocating in lies, depriving God of my service. I began to peel back the layers of lies and
events which consumed my mind and covered my heart. Trust came back into my life. I discovered the Way out! My worth found itself through God, not
man. I realized God created my innermost
being and breathed life into me for a reason.
He thought so highly of each of us to provide us with a body and create
a plan, pave a path and use us as vessels each and every day.
Satan never stops his evil ways. We must keep our eyes on God and activate the
Holy Spirit each day and use His guidance for our decisions. As I began my journey in college, Satan slithered
his way into my thoughts and worked very hard to consume it with lies. I fell into traps of desiring approval from
others, feeling the pressure of success and placing my worth in one little
letter received or hearing an “atta girl” from my instructor. Without the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart,
I would have fallen deep into the pit again.
Praise God for His willingness to hold tight to my hand and not let go. His love transcended all the lies.
A situation appeared late in the semester where the line between
right and wrong blurred. Cheating became
a topic to gain the approving grade to equate success. Well, God sent an angel to clarify that line
for me. Oh, how blessed we are to be
surrounded with other Christians to guide us when we cannot see clearly. The event involved creating a study guide for
the final in not the most honest way. As
I stood firm on my decision not to partake, I recalled the bondage I once
experienced. I would probably have not
made the right decision years ago. I
would have done what I needed to have the tools to study and gain that grade
that would please all around me. As I
mature in my Christianity, I realize how important it is to activate the power
of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We must
have open ears and eyes to follow His Truths in every decision. Place your worth in Him and He will never
leave nor forsake you.
So, I studied as much as possible, took God with me in the
testing room as I had with all the other tests and answered each question to my
best ability. Guess what? God helped with each question, provided
endurance to continue through the 100 question final and I passed by the grace
He provided. I feel so blessed and know
that all the work this semester was done honestly. God will continue to guide, guard and protect
each of us as we make each decisions based on the Truth He provides. I am so thankful for His Word. Without these Truths, we would be lost and
continue making wrong decisions.
Activate the Holy Spirit in your lives today and praise Him for all the
blessings which flow into your day.
“Therefore
we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we
are away from the Lord. For
we live by faith, not by sight. We
are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home
with the Lord. So
we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away
from it. For
we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may
receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or
bad.” (2 Corinthians 5:6-10)
Keep praying harder than the devil can work.
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