Please Only Him

Failure, defeat, lack of success. . .words we never want heard in the same sentence as our name.  Growing up, I fought for approval from two very important people in my life – my parents.  Approval equated love.  Whatever sport, grade, chore or decision pleased my parents, I did it.  The pressures increased each day to hear an “atta girl” from them.  If not received, failure entered my world.  Guilt, shame and inadequacy followed those thoughts of failure.  A bondage?  Maybe so.  Does a way out exist?  Definitly yes!

A need for approval followed me throughout the years and overflowed to the relationships I encountered.  I desired to be loved and feared rejection.  Ever criticism, disapproving remark or lack of success weighed heavily on my heart.  Each event turned inward.  It progressed to the point where I just gave up.  The bondage squeezed so tightly I could not breathe.  I avoided any situation or relationship that posed a risk of failure or rejection.  I hid behind all the lies, my eating disorder and anything to numb out from the pain of rejection and disapproval.  A bondage?  For sure.  Does a way out exist?  Absolutely!

It took until my mid 20’s to face all this mess created by none other than Satan.  Years I wasted suffocating in lies, depriving God of my service.  I began to peel back the layers of lies and events which consumed my mind and covered my heart.  Trust came back into my life.  I discovered the Way out!  My worth found itself through God, not man.  I realized God created my innermost being and breathed life into me for a reason.  He thought so highly of each of us to provide us with a body and create a plan, pave a path and use us as vessels each and every day.

Satan never stops his evil ways.  We must keep our eyes on God and activate the Holy Spirit each day and use His guidance for our decisions.  As I began my journey in college, Satan slithered his way into my thoughts and worked very hard to consume it with lies.  I fell into traps of desiring approval from others, feeling the pressure of success and placing my worth in one little letter received or hearing an “atta girl” from my instructor.  Without the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart, I would have fallen deep into the pit again.  Praise God for His willingness to hold tight to my hand and not let go.  His love transcended all the lies.

A situation appeared late in the semester where the line between right and wrong blurred.  Cheating became a topic to gain the approving grade to equate success.  Well, God sent an angel to clarify that line for me.  Oh, how blessed we are to be surrounded with other Christians to guide us when we cannot see clearly.  The event involved creating a study guide for the final in not the most honest way.  As I stood firm on my decision not to partake, I recalled the bondage I once experienced.  I would probably have not made the right decision years ago.  I would have done what I needed to have the tools to study and gain that grade that would please all around me.  As I mature in my Christianity, I realize how important it is to activate the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  We must have open ears and eyes to follow His Truths in every decision.  Place your worth in Him and He will never leave nor forsake you.

So, I studied as much as possible, took God with me in the testing room as I had with all the other tests and answered each question to my best ability.  Guess what?  God helped with each question, provided endurance to continue through the 100 question final and I passed by the grace He provided.  I feel so blessed and know that all the work this semester was done honestly.  God will continue to guide, guard and protect each of us as we make each decisions based on the Truth He provides.  I am so thankful for His Word.  Without these Truths, we would be lost and continue making wrong decisions.  Activate the Holy Spirit in your lives today and praise Him for all the blessings which flow into your day.


“Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.  For we live by faith, not by sight.  We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.  So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.  For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”  (2 Corinthians 5:6-10)


Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

Select Few

The Craig family decided to take advantage of the beautiful, perfect temperature and few free hours before beginning the nightly routine.  Basketball began the fun and continued until one child desired to play baseball.  We gathered the gloves and baseball to begin throwing in a square like pattern to one another.

The flow went well for a few rounds until one child threw and the other failed in preparation to catch.  The ball hit glove then face.  This moment was the beginning to a disastrous evening.  One child crying due to guilt of hitting the other ran into the garage to be alone.  The injured one grew in anger and cried in frustration.  Unable to console either due to stubborn nature of both; my husband and I did what any great parent would do. . .we proceeded to toss the ball back and forth amongst ourselves. 

Finally able to make sense of words from the angered child, we included the child in the tossing rotation.  I turned to check on child 1 in the garage still upset about hurting the other.  Sure enough, just when we thought times could not worse, it happened.  I looked back to see how the emotions were of child 2 in time to see white.  Age slows reaction time; therefore, the glove did not save me from this one.  Baseball met side of head and instantly a blood vessel appeared busted, causing three out of four to be shedding tears now. 

Into the house everyone went.  Watching from afar, neighbors would deem this family insane.  I instantly placed an ice pack on the injury in hopes to numb out the pain.  Then, Tylenol became my best friend and reminding self to breathe a priority.  My entire head throbbed.  I knew the end result would look horrendous.

Sure enough, the next morning purple and red surrounded my eye.  Makeup could not cover up the colorful result of the injury.  Therefore, when going to the store and running much needed errands for the day, stares veered my way.  Many looked as though something was wrong with me or I should not be out in public.  I desired to become invisible to eliminate the stares, yet still get errands done. 

Feelings arose after walking in those shoes for the day: shame, embarrassment, frustration and a need to explain the situation before others begin judging.  But, I continued on my way and completed the ‘to do’ list.  I did explain the situation to a select few who asked out of care and concern. 

Ever feel like life throws a curve ball you never seen coming?  The situation instantly stops life due to severity of effects.  In the moment, it almost feels surreal and numbness takes over.  Then, suddenly a wave of pain appears which overtakes all thoughts.  Tears flow; yet, human nature fights it and works diligently to ‘stay strong’, avoiding emotion. 

Sure enough, the next morning after ‘that call’, ‘the letter’, ‘a conversation’ or ‘unforgettable event’, result of injury cannot be covered.  Shoulders sink, faces frown, and emotions get the better of you; revealing themselves through attitude, mood and words.  You desire the superpower of invisibility so others cannot see the effects of life.  Some will stare while others will run the other way; but, a select few will ask in care and concern.  These select will help find a solution. . .if you allow it.

Over the years, I have found hiding behind the shame, embarrassment and frustration only leads to a greater, deeper pain.  Anything kept in secret allows the devil to use it as ammo against us.  The ammo slowly kills the spirit, destroying mind and body.      

Some may judge and others may fear the situation; but, God will not do either.  Lay it at the cross and allow God to send a select few into the path who will help.  Be honest with God and His army so they may fight with you through the struggle.  The devil will tuck his tail between his legs and run for the hills.  You will have freedom.  You will have victory through His power.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

Aiding and Abetting

“But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.  “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”  At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him.  Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.

While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.”  (Acts 7:55-60)

Stephen was a man full of the Holy Spirit, believing in God and knowing full well where to turn in times of need.  He saw with clear vision Jesus standing at the right hand of God, proving the fulfilled promise of ascension into Heaven.  Stephen exclaimed the great news in hopes that others may feel the same and believe in our Savior. 

Quite the opposite occurred.  Stephen received a punishment unimaginable.  First, the crowd removed Stephen from the city limits.  If only they stopped at that, simply banning Stephen from their city for such gibberish they believed he spoke.  No, they continued the punishment, one stone at a time.  Stephen did not run, hide or fight back.  Stephen took the punishment on behalf of faith.  He stood firm on belief and knew that each stone thrown and the pain felt would all be worth it when he met our Savior face to face. 

Stephen even went as far as to show ultimate forgiveness, holding no grudge against those hurting him.  His words reflect our Savior’s Words.  He asked God to not hold this sin against them.  Stephen clung to faith, trust and hope in our Savior.  He knew the men throwing the stones failed to see the goodness of our Savior.  They remained empty, falling victim to peer pressure and approval of man.

But, now let’s look at another character mentioned in the passage: Saul.  He cast not one stone.  Innocent in this gruesome murder of a believer?  I think not.  As I read that one sentence, I judge Saul guilty for aiding and abetting a crime.  He stood watch over the crowd’s coats without lifting a finger to help Stephen.  Why?  At this point Saul, later Paul, had no backbone.  He remained empty, failing to believe or receive the gift presented from Heaven.  Saul stood by to watch the murder without saying a word.  Though no stone touched his hand, guilty of murder would be my verdict.

This conclusion labels me a hypocrite!  Countless times I stand in a group of individuals lacking a backbone.  Even as a firm believer and filled with love for my Savior, the verdict would find me guilty for aiding and abetting in the destruction of others.  Gossip occurs and I listen without uttering a word to stop such action.  Bashing of another I hear but fail to stop or pull out positive features of the person being bashed.  I stand by watching the children argue without teaching healthy confrontation for that would take too much energy.  The day took all I had to make it through, I come home to a husband wanting to talk and receive a warm greeting; I give the opposite or display the silent treatment.

Example after example appears along our journey when we stand without a backbone.  Seeking approval, falling victim to peer pressure, robs our spirit of strength.  The individuals in the story were blind and have no faith in our Savior.  We can understand why they lacked a backbone.  Not an excuse, but it brings understanding.  We as Christians have no excuse.  The Holy Spirit is active, ready for use, each day and with each situation faced.  We must stand firm on Truth, holding strong in Faith and Trusting our Savior to provide the backbone needed to shine brightly for Him. 

How?  By refusing to seek approval of man and going against the grain.  If the words cannot move from spirit to mouth, just walk away.  Remove yourself from the situation.  You may find that the simple gesture of not partaking will set an example to others.  Let us resemble Stephen and stand firm, full of the Holy Spirit, loving others despite human nature and speaking Truth during the toughest of times.  And always. . .

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.     

He is Not Finished Yet

After finishing the basement the year we moved into a new home, I thought construction would no longer take place.  Well, I was wrong.  See, one aspect of a finished basement remained undone after completion of walls, doors, accessories, painting and carpet.  The ceiling lacked insulation and tile.  Under construction – round two.

I am never a good sport about construction projects involving the inside of the house.  I can script the daily events out exactly.  It starts with material carried through the house to the designated area.  Loud, heavy and disastrous tools mold the material to desired size or shape.  The material is then properly placed to create a finished product.  The result – beauty.

My thoughts know the end will bring improvement to the home.  I trust those working diligently on the project to finish with success.  I love the looks when completed.  But (there is always a but following a positive list), I (strongly) dislike the mess created in the home during the beautifying process.  It seems destruction precedes beauty every time.  

Each night, the vacuum ran and materials were organized to the side.  Insulation particles, wood shavings, tile pieces and spare items covered the construction zone.  It would be nice to set up cones, tape up the area and keep distance throughout the process.  Unfortunately, much takes place through the construction zone.  Therefore, cleaning must occur nightly to function daily.

It seems I am not the best sport when it comes to a construction projects in another area either – my heart.  After coming to know Jesus and taking Him as my Lord and Savior, I thought all is well and no need to change anything I was doing.  I was done, right?  Wrong!  See, taking Jesus as our Lord and Savior is actually the starting point to a lifetime of construction projects.  Once our burdens lay at the foot of the cross, our Father can now begin working to beautify.

Upon creating you, He touched every fiber, placed the exact pieces together, gave life to each organ and planned a glorious life specific to you.  Unfortunately, we come to be with one aspect left undone.  Our spirit lay dormant until we decide, understand and take the step in faith to activate the Holy Spirit in our lives.  Until this point, we function in life but lacking purpose.  Once we believe and decide to follow Jesus, this new life must undergo construction – round two.

God presents the proper material needed to begin the transformation.  “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  (Romans 12:2)  God provides the tools needed to mold, shape and size all while protecting the beauty within.  “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:14-17)  Everything done while under the protection of our Father results in beauty!

Remain focused on the goal of improvement.  Success always comes when God is the lead Man.  He does more than we can ask or imagine.  Guaranteed to love the finished project, trust must be first and foremost. 

Yes, it may get messy from time to time with life scattered all over.  Avoid the desire to hide or keep distance from others.  It is in the messiest of construction that others see His light shining through.  Your construction zone becomes a testimony that will touch lives. 

Construction will continue until we meet our Maker face to face.  Embrace it knowing and trusting the end product will be more beautiful than the beginning product.  My basement now has a beautiful ceiling.  The beauty supersedes any of the images I had when my husband explained it.  I made it through yet another construction project, coming through with stronger character and increased patience.  I may be ready to face another one (nah, not just yet). 

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

Out of the Rut

Actors and actresses arrive on scene to receive a script.  Each script lists conversations, word for word.  Each conversation holds specific detail to which emotion need be expressed while speaking each word.  Scenes accumulate to create a show, play or movie.  Each scene involves different cues so actors and actresses will know proper timing to appear. 

Time must be spent studying each word, emotion, scene and cue for the actor and actress to be successful.  One falter and the scene will not make sense to the viewer.  The acting career places much pressure for perfect performance in order to sell and succeed.  Not to mention the great lengths taken to ‘look perfect’ for the camera. 

Weekly, I receive a schedule from the office manager.  It lists each day of the week and the time frame in which I am to be in the office.  If I fail to arrive on time without warning or a legitimate excuse, disciplinary action would be taken; and understandably so, due to the commitment made in agreeing to work for the office and them accepting me as an employee.  I cannot make up a schedule and assume everyone else would be just fine with it.

Obedience and respect come into play when working amongst others daily.  Showing up on time trickles down to all others involved in the workplace.  The day runs smoother as each individual plays their part in a timely manner.  It takes teamwork to serve and satisfy.  Not to mention grace to encourage and expand. 

Scripts and schedules begin to create our story written by this world.  The details simply fall into place as we show up on time, complete the tasks at hand and provide appropriate emotions to fit the scene.  Each day becomes mundane and our bodies go through the motions.  From alarm off to alarm on, the clock determines our every move.  Slowly, we drift into a sea of faces and become part OF this world.

A rut develops that begins feeling comfortable day in and day out.  I caution you to GET OUT OF THE RUT!  Yes, arriving to work on time keeps from getting fired.  Yes, following the script and providing proper emotions during conversations keeps socializing successful.  But, what if I told you to throw out the routine of each day?  What if I said forget the clock?  What if I asked you to strive for imperfection?

Come to the cross just as you are today!  Lay down the script, routine, emotions, schedules and simply say, “Yes”.  In receiving His script, you will no longer need to worry about memorizing lines, developing proper emotions, arriving on time or working diligently to respond to proper cuing.  You will no longer need to appear perfect on the outside in order to succeed.  You will no longer experience the mundane, going through the motion kind of days. 

Sounds freeing, right?  Well, my dear friend, it is freedom – from this broken world.  We are called to live IN this world, not OF this world.  In doing so, He provides day to day scripts already written out in specific detail.  We need not study ahead, but focus on the current scene with open hands.  He will come and work through us to complete the story, word for word, page after page.  Various cues appear in the form of the Holy Spirit nudging us to move or speak.  To recognize the cues, we must study His Word daily.  Others will see His light shine through our loving heart and proper emotions based on particular scenes as we listen and respond to cues. 

No need for perfect performance for our Father reveals His power through weaknesses.  We need not ‘look perfect’ because our Father created our inmost being paying close attention to each detail so beauty will shine forth as we allow Him into each day. 

We need only to show up each morning, ready to serve.  Obedience keeps us on the right path.  Respect keeps the relationship strong.  Come to the cross just as you are today and throw away routine, clocks and need for perfection.  Living by His script is so much more interesting.  You never know the adventure He will take you on today!  Guess what?  If one day you fail to follow script – His mercies are new each and every morning and His grace covers you.  Repent, learn and move forward with your story.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

‘Mary Moment’

I have worked in fast food, retail stores, a newspaper business, banking industry and healthcare.  I encountered countless faces, shook endless hands, delivered numerous smiles and heard each name upon initial greeting.  I truly care about each person met over the years and many prayers have been lifted as I listen to the hardships faced. 

I win the prize for worst memory when it comes to individual’s names.  I cannot remember for the life of me names.  I even encountered the same individuals day after day and still found it tough to recall a name.  I must have a few missing pieces in my memory box.  In contrast, I do win the prize for best memory when it comes to faces.  My eyes prove sharper than my ears. 

I then encounter an individual outside the normal setting.  I smile and greet with a friendly hello; but, too often cannot place where I know them from.  The face seems so familiar, the smile so unique and the voice unforgettable.  The name and place of origin escapes my memory box.  It bothers me to no end that I cannot recall original meeting place or a name.   One of two things eventually occurs: either I let it go after hours of thinking back or I end up recalling where I have seen the person prior.

The above scenario happens often – about every time I leave the house and venture to a setting other than work.  It may take help from my family to remember where we know a face.  Rarely do we not come up with a name and place to attach to a face.

“At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.  He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”  Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”  Jesus said to her, “Mary.”  She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).”

(John 20:14-16)

Mary sat next to an empty tomb in tears curious of the location of Jesus.  She could not recall the promise made just days earlier.  She turned around to find a man standing beside her.  Jesus, obviously knowing the name of this woman, sought out the reason for the tears.  Jesus could not understand why she wept and appeared distraught for He stood right in front of her.  Mary could not recognize Jesus nor could she place a name to His face. 

She frantically desired an answer from this man, thinking Jesus was a gardener whom felt the need to move the deceased from the grave.  Her memory box must have been wiped clean of the prior day’s events and promises. 

How often do we forget His name?  How often do we come to a place in the path and fail to recognize Jesus standing there calling our name?  Jesus arrives daily to guide, protect and comfort.  His death and resurrection allows for the Holy Spirit to be active in our lives.  We live because He died.  The problem occurs when we have a ‘Mary moment’ and fail to recognize Him.  Somehow our memory box purges all Truth and Promises while in the mist of turmoil or a difficult decision. 

To recognize Him we must take time to get to know Him intimately.  An intimate relationship with our Father brings strength allowing for bold steps in the right direction.  To recall Truth we must study Truth.  Taking time to read His Word instills proper tools required to face this broken world.  To remember His Promises stand true since the beginning of time we must listen and soak in His Story.  Knowing He never fails leaves or forsakes His children increases God-confidence.  Having God-confidence keeps our eyes open and focused on Him.

Let us fill our heart, soul and mind with Truth in order to know Him intimately.  We will avoid a ‘Mary moment’ the closer we walk with Him daily.  The chances of not recognizing His face minimizes the more we listen and follow.  Come to know Him today and allow His presence to be apparent.  He is there at all times; we just need to see Him.

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.

Deep Cleaning Anyone?

During the school year, the weeks pass with a blink of an eye.  Routine and maxed out schedules keep each family member busy.  We complete daily tasks only to receive the same to do list the next day.  Mundane chores make for no rest time. 

But then, I walk around my home and notice imperfection.  While folding laundry, I notice a cobweb forming in the hard to reach corner.  I open cabinets only to find dust under the contents.  My children’s growth leaves the closet filled with useless clothes.  I don’t even want to begin moving furniture to see the collection of dust bunnies.  Handprints of two little angels smear my front door.  I feel like I clean every possible minute; yet, chores remain incomplete. 

So, I continue on my way, completing high priority items daily.  I look the other way, avoid the space needing attention, keep the furniture in place and grab needed items quickly while shoving useless items to the back.  It works!  My house “appears” clean on the surface and presentable to guests.  I can’t do anymore.  I can’t handle another item on my list.  I need help to spruce up this home! 

Maybe the cleaning fairy will visit, leaving my house to shine.  Oh, I know, mom visits this week, maybe she will complete the chores.  How about I wish it all away?  Nah, I will continue to ignore and avoid.  That plan sounds much easier and feasible.

Ever feel incomplete or spiritually weak?  We attend church, sing loudly in worship, pray daily and invite God into each moment.  Yet, some ‘thing’ halts spiritual maturity.  Moving to the next level, taking the required step seems too difficult.  Our house “appears” clean on the surface and presentable; yet, desired growth remains. 

We see it and our thoughts remind us almost daily.  The one sin, unforgiving thought, angry emotion, haunting hurt, etc.  The wall surrounding our hearts keeps them hidden.  When giving our life to Christ, growth spurts continuously occur; yet, the deepest hurts and emotions hide in the corners of our soul.  We feel no more can be done.  We can’t handle all this and while continuing in daily trials.  We want to ignore and avoid.  We need help sprucing up our home!

Help is on the way!  He waits at the cross for us to lay it all down.  Break down the walls, visit the corners of your soul and bring God along.  No wish will erase.  No fairy will help.  No one else can complete the work for you.  This is a cleaning only you and God can complete. 

It can be difficult to face the buried past.  The emotions shoved aside before now multiplied.  Take each one to Him. . .deep clean one item at a time.  Don’t miss a corner.  Reach to the back, move the wall built around your heart and give attention to every piece of your soul.  God will bless you, allowing a spiritual growth spurt.  A deeper relationship, stronger ministry, overwhelming peace and freedom result with a clean house. 

You are worth it and He will take the worst of pasts in His Hands, using each for His good.  Much of the past, you did not deserve, some came as a result of wrong decisions and few just happened due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  His grace covers ALL!  Find peace and spiritual growth in His Word.  Let Him deep clean your soul. 

Keep praying harder than the devil can work.